So life has been intersting over the past few days. I flew across country to see my partner and my daughter for Christmas, however, I was unable to see them due to various situations - some I am skeptical on, but o well. I honestly feel that my partner does not want to see me, but at the moment, it's whatever. I will get over it.
So yesterday, the greatest (hear the sarcasm) day of the year, I chose to be a nomad of my own. I hid out at my sister's house for a while before running up to Marland Heights to see a very good friend - that is like a sister to me. I've known her for over about 13 years. It was so fun to be in that house again. For some reason we ended up talking about poop. Yes, I said poop. LOL. Needless to say, Jen cleared the room with her poop talk, but nonetheless it was the first smile - and hysterical laugh- I had engaged in for a while. I forgot how uplifting and overall hysterical that house was. Well, after Jen had to start driving back to Ohio, I decided to grab a fabulous Christmas dinner at Sheetz Made to Order and head over to my sister's work.
My sister works as a front desk associate at one of the three hotels in this little town. Due to the holiday no one was around. So, I went to spend time with her - coffee and Christmas dinner in hand - and plopped my booty on the hotel's front room couch in front of the TV. We watched Alvin and the Chipmunks and then an interview with James Durbin. He was so inspiring, intriguing and overall invigorating.
So after all of that, we realized she still had quite a few hours before she was able to get off work. Sooooo, we opted for Canasta. Canasta is the game my sister and I can play for hours. And I mean hours. I think we stayed up for 72 hours straight playing game after game after game before finally realizing - hey, its been dark and light 3 times, maybe we should sleep. That was how we spent our summers. Well, because neither of us keep two decks of cards in our back pocket anymore, that attempt failed. However, she found SCRABBLE.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows one particular thing.... I am a smart -ass. Literally. I am this person that loves words and I kick ass at Scrabble. My mom and I used to play when I was a kid in order to build my vocabulary. Well, it worked. So, my sister and I played one REAL game, one semi-real game and one "our" game. Let me define these for you. A real game of Scrabble is following the rules, keeping score and using real words - as noticed in Webster's Dictionary. A semi-real game started off as a game without keeping score, but odd, non-word words are thrown into the mix. For example. My sister plays the word "Teake". I ask her "Ronnie, what is that word?" My lovely sister replies, "Its Teake... like "tea-key". You know, like what they have in Hawaii..." I look at her in utter shock and before I can stop myself I burst out "It is spelled T-I-K-I!!!!". The look on her face was then absolutely priceless. She then replied, "well today, it is spelled T-E-A-K-E!" LMAO.
So now the our game. Our game is played by putting all the tiles face up on the coffee table and trying to make the funniest, oddest, most flamboyant words EVER without actually using real words. For instance, we had slycooteroo, flargooneibutte, and swoodiepeckerie There are a few others but I do not remember them off hand.
SIDE BAR: flargooneibutte and swoodiepeckerie have the little red underline beneath the words, however slycooteroo does not! What the hell? LOL
So back on track. Needless to say, we about died. We then took out wooden tile-holder-thingymabobs and started waving them around like we were Harry Potter and took alternate turns in saying one of the words that was on the Scrabble board. All of a sudden, we both point at each each (with the wooden tile holder thingymabob) and say "Slycooteroo" together - same pitch, same tone, same timing. I don't think either of us breathed for two minutes. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing from last night, I woke up this morning STILL sore from the laughter.
So then, around 11pm, my sister's "relief" comes into the hotel. We then talk about all these woods and my sister says "flargooniebutte is a disease of the ass!" All three of us begin to gasp for breath between fits of laughter. So then, Alison (i honestly do not know how she spells her name...Alyson, Allison, Alison...you get the point) says "How would you use it in a sentence?" And somehow, out of no where, I come up with "MANNNNN that guy has some rank flargooniebutte!!!" Due to the laughter that ensues, I drop to my knees willingly so I did not risk falling. My sister says something smart-assed about my position (being on my knees) because I'm gay...and I honestly don't know why she came up with that. But of course, I had a smart ass remark of "I can lick pussy just fine from here". However, I don't think she heard me fully...because if she had, she would have probably fallen over with laughter...or embarrassment.
So that was my Christmas. It started off sucky and ended in my almost-death due to laughter. I love my sister. I am going to get a "space-saver" bag, stuff her in it and suck out all the air just so i can fit her in my suitcase and take her home with me. Wow, I didn't realize it, but it sounds like i wanna put her in a body bag....well, she can play dead. It'd be cheaper airfare!
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