This blog is going to be written in parts, because I can't write all of what I am thinking and feeling right now. However I wanted to start.
I am currently waiting in my moms 2007 Ford Taurus while my gf is getting coffee and cigarettes for my sister. I'm people watching, as usual. What I never truly noticed is how different people are here compared to in Arizona- and by here, I mean my hometown of Weirton, WV. Almost everyone here is obese and more so they don't care.
SIDEBAR: and now i am at home, on my couch - and i do mean home as in Arizona. HAHA. Told you it would be written in parts!
When I truly looked around Weirton, almost everyone was significantly overweight and going through the McDonalds Drive-Thru or they looked like they hadn't showed in a week. Now, I don't remember Weirton looking like that when I lived there, but maybe it did. I have had a huge problem with my weight since I was a little girl, but now, I have finally put my foot down and I started working out, eating correctly and taking care of my body. I seriously wonder why such a small town has such a huge problem. The area is safe(er) for children to go out and play, but they don't. There are many stay-at-home moms that could cook dinner, but yet they opt for Big Macs and McNuggets.
My girlfriend and I had enough time to eat at the airport. I went for a sub-place so that I could control what went on my sandwich and so I knew it wasn't fried (everything was grilled right in front of you) and she opted for McDonalds. She got herself a Big Mac and our daughter a McNuggets Happy Meal. Our daughter is 17 months old. I was not so happy, but I kept my mouth shut. So then, after our flight landed, we were both pretty hungry. She suggested McDonalds - well I can't eat there. She was so hungry that she went through the drive through (we did have a bit of a drive from the airport to home) and got herself a Mac Snack Wrap. Ok - whatever. So we were going to go to Texas Roadhouse...she could get whatever she wanted and I could get a grilled chicken salad with some type of non-fat or light dressing. Well, Texas was so packed we decided to scratch that idea. I had her take me to Subway - again, I can control what goes on my sandwich - and she went through McDonalds. I offered to cooked Ryleigh something at the house, but instead, she got the girl another Happy Meal. This time, my gf got two Mac Wraps and a Medium Fry. So a total of Three Mac Wraps and fries. O and I didn't mention, when she opened up the first Mac Wrap and ate it on the way to our town - I got sick. I almost threw up just from the smell of the McDonald's exposed food. It smelled AWFUL. She looked at me - I had my hand covering my nose and mouth to keep from breathing in the odor and said "smell bad". Yeaaa...uh huh. It was repugnant.
My girlfriend talks about how she wants to lose weight. Yes, part of it is her thyroid. Part of my weight is my thyroid. However, the consistent McDonalds, the amount of McDonalds, the pepsi, the tea, the grease, the carbs and then the non-movement. That's the problem. After we got home and ate, I got up and started doing things around the house. She was content sitting and watching TV. Yes, we did have a longggg flight with a screaming baby. She relaxes by sitting and vegging out to TV. I had to move. She got upset because I was fidgeting. I can't help it. I needed to move. I hate to sit - unless I'm writing, but even then, I'm doing something. I'm not just sitting and staring at the boob tube. I'm writing. I'm putting thoughts down.
This is going to be a huge adjustment. I've had seven weeks to live as I want, do as I want, eat what I want, get up when I want, sit when I want, sleep when I want... This is just going to be one huge adjustment.
I don't understand the obsession with Fast Food and television. My gf isn't the first nor is she is the only to succumb to this lifestyle. So many people are envious of other people's looks, but yet, they don't have the will to change themselves or their lifestyle. I am eating things right now that I do not like to eat. I would much rather have pasta and some heavy cream sauce. But I know that in order to keep losing the weight I have, I need to eat spinach, cucumbers, peppers, carrots, broccoli, wheat pasta, wheat bread...etc. I cannot eat out, I need to eat at home. I feel better. I ate way too much that wasn't my usual when I was at my moms - which is probably why I didn't eat a whole lot to begin with. I knew it was bad for me. I knew it wasn't good. When we did eat good meals, I ate until I was satisfied. I didn't push it. I know my limits.
Now that I am home (and not alone) it had been very interesting as far as food is concerned. I eat when I am hungry and I try to make sure my food mess is completely cleaned up - not that I do the dishes as I use them, but I throw uneaten food away and take my stuff into the kitchen. It's been very interesting to see pepsi cans across the house, uneaten velvetta shells on plates and various other food items left, indisposed of around the living room and kitchen area. Frankly, it is driving me nuts. For one, I can smell the food - which turns my stomach because it smells soooo bad (its processed and/or unhealthy and therefore it is just repugnant to me).
So my question is....why is food always such a huge deal? Why do people have an obsession with it? It seems like everyone has their "nitch"...their one particular obsession. My girlfriend's obsession is Pepsi, McDonalds and chips. My mom's and my obsession is ice cream. Thankfully, we have both been able to break the addiction and we have learned to curb that craving. I eat bananas like crazy (for many reasons) however, one of the side effects of that is that the bananas help curb sweet cravings. I don't understand the obsession. The addiction. What would it take for people to break the addiction?
So many people are unhappy with the way they look. However, they don't want to change their lifestyles. My friends, regardless of what it is you do not like about yourself (and we all have that "something"), you - and you alone - have the power to change it. It will be hard, but nothing in life worth having is ever easy. If you do not like something about yourself - then change it. It's that simple. Do whatever it takes. People will expect you to go by old habits, but stick to your guns. Eventually, things will pay off. And if there is ever a time you need a little encouragement - all you gotta do is call one someone who understands.
I am on this journey of changing myself into who I want to be. I had a lot of pressure to eat bad things when I went home - heck, I feel a lot of pressure now. However, I am not letting it deter me from my goal. I do not like the weight I've put on over the years -so i am changing it. =) Me...and me alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment